Boundaries

Boundary is defined as a line that marks a limit to an area. 

Sometimes in relationships (whether romantic, friendships, work, or family) healthy boundaries are used to establish a limit. Boundaries are used in various aspects of our relationships: physical, emotional, mental, sexual, material, and time. 

There are so many voices out there saying “but they are your family” or “but they are (insert any name here)” 

Every person is entitled to autonomy, to happiness in all aspects of life, and to not experience constant hurt. 

Now, what do healthy boundaries look like? 

Saying no. Accepting when someone else says no. Respecting one’s needs and the needs of others.  Respecting values and beliefs of others even when they are different from your own.  Clear communication on wants and needs. 

Setting boundaries is a process. It takes time. The outcome of setting boundaries can increase overall happiness and wellbeing. 

How can my counselor help me set boundaries? In counseling, you can discuss freely, and without judgment, what you are feeling and experiencing with other individuals and evaluate what kind of boundaries you want to put in place. Counselors can guide you through these following steps to effective boundary setting.

1. Setting goals: What is the objective of setting this boundary or needing a boundary?

2. Be clear: Be as clear as possible with what you want. 

3. Practice: Write out what you want to say beforehand, practice out loud in the mirror, or practice with your counselor or another safe person. 

4. Be simple: Avoid overloading with too many details; focus on what is bothering you and focus the discussion on that. 

Boundaries are helpful in avoiding burnout, reducing resentment, and establishing life balance. 

Schedule your first appointment with Rebecca today to explore, define, and establish healthy boundaries in your life.