The Power of Specific Praise in Parenting
The Power of Specific Praise in Parenting
As parents, we all want to encourage and uplift our children, helping them grow into confident
and capable individuals. One of the most effective ways to do this is through praise. However,
not all praise is created equal. While general praise like “Good job!” or “You’re so smart!” can be well-intentioned, specific praise has a much greater impact on a child’s development and self-esteem.
What is Specific Praise?
Specific praise focuses on highlighting exactly what your child did well. It goes beyond generic
compliments and acknowledges effort, behavior, or achievements in detail. Instead of saying,
“You’re such a great artist!” you might say, “I love the way you used so many bright colors in
your drawing! It really makes the picture come to life!”
More examples are..
- “You did such a great job putting those blocks away by yourself”
- “Thank you for helping to set the table. That made dinner so much easier for me!”
- “I noticed how you kept trying even when the puzzle was difficult. That kind of
persistence is amazing!” - “You spoke so kindly to your friend when they were upset. That was a really
thoughtful way to support them!”
Why Specific Praise Matters
- Encourages Effort and Growth – By acknowledging the effort a child puts into a task
rather than just the outcome, specific praise fosters a growth mindset. For example,
saying, “I saw how hard you worked on that puzzle, and you didn’t give up!” reinforces
perseverance and problem-solving skills. - Builds Self-Confidence – When children hear exactly what they did well, they internalize their strengths. Instead of feeling they are just “good” at something, they understand what actions contributed to their success.
- Reinforces Positive Behavior – Kids are more likely to repeat behaviors that are specifically praised. If a parent says, “I appreciate how kindly you shared your toy with your sister,” the child understands that sharing is valued and will likely continue to do so.
- Develops Intrinsic Motivation – General praise can sometimes make children reliant on external validation. Specific praise, however, helps them recognize their own progress and efforts, making them more self-motivated.
How to Use Specific Praise Effectively
- Be Genuine – Children can tell when praise is insincere. Make sure your words are
heartfelt and based on real observations. - Focus on Effort and Actions – Instead of saying, “You’re so smart,” try, “I noticed how carefully you thought through that math problem!”
- Be Timely – Praise works best when given immediately after the behavior you want to
reinforce. - Use Positive Body Language – A warm smile, eye contact, and a pat on the back can by incorporating specific praise into your daily interactions, you can help your child develop
confidence, resilience, and a love for learning. Small, intentional words of encouragement can make a world of difference in shaping their mindset and behavior for the future.
Article by Alyssa Noel